Loneliness. It’s ugly. Oh so ugly. It’s definitely not a beautiful part of being single. You can find out a lot about who you are as a person when you’re in the thick of loneliness, but it’s definitely not a pretty process. The end result can be beautiful but getting there is such a battle. And I feel like it’s a battle that many of us keep a secret. It’s like we’re ashamed to admit that we feel lonely. We need to be more honest about something that affects so many of us. Why is there such a stigma attached to loneliness?
I don’t know about you but summer just highlights singleness even more. I feel like every time I look around I see couples holding hands, eating ice cream cones, stealing kisses…okay maybe that’s being a bit dramatic but seriously I feel like summer brings out couples in herds. I get it. It’s warm, sunny, and everyone is outside enjoying activities together. Well I would rather you go hibernate with your love indoors, please. HA. Just kidding…well maybe just a little.
Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy time to myself, but lately it feels like loneliness creeps in just a little more often than I would like. Thanks a lot summer. It’s the season for love: weddings, being outdoors, going on trips, sitting by a bonfire, riding bikes, listening to an outdoor concert, going to a BBQ…you get the picture. It’s just a constant barrage of couples enjoying each other’s company.
It’s just exhausting. It’s hard enough meeting someone, but even harder to put yourself out there. Sometimes it’s just easier to be alone but that’s not something I’d like to accept. I feel like it’s a constant battle in your thirties. I don’t think I was as aware of my single status in my twenties because I was actively dating, getting an education, advancing my career, and having fun with friends. Life kind of slows down in your thirties and your friends are now all married, having kids, etc. So it’s definitely harder to be at peace with being single because you’re alone a lot more often.
Loneliness isn’t a place I ever want to stay for very long. It’s amazing how awful I can be to myself when I’m stuck in my head for too long. It’s not healthy and it can drive our decisions. I know there are people who are married and lonely, so settling on a relationship that is just lukewarm isn’t an option either. I won’t allow myself to be in an unhealthy relationship or marriage just because it might rid me of my loneliness. Thankfully, it is only temporary. I want a healthy, good, stable relationship. I have seen too many people get and stay in bad relationships because they’re lonely. That will never bring long-term happiness.
I think it’s perfectly normal that I feel lonely. I’m human. At least I have the courage to wait because I deserve something beautiful. I have faith that what is meant to be will be (although that has been harder to believe in lately). Thankfully, loneliness is only temporary and being alone can be a good thing. And although I daydream of being with someone and enjoying each other’s company, I will not let it consume or define me. This is who I am and in the meantime I will embrace the good, the bad, and the ugly.